Returning to school or starting school can be a very worrisome time for children and parents alike – and that’s perfectly natural, as we often have concerns of the unknown. Sometimes our child’s transition to school starts off well, but after a few weeks the “glitter and glamour” of starting school can begin to wear off, and before we know it, parents are stuck with the pleading and coercing from their child to let them stay home.  It’s not unusual for children to feel a little anxious about going back to school. It usually starts on a Monday morning in the lead up to going to school or may even start the night before.

Children can complain of having a stomach-ache or headache and can be teary.  Anxiety can affect the body and will often present itself as physical symptoms in our children. Although it is normal to have worries, it is essential that you encourage your child to attend school.  Avoidance only increases fear and makes it more difficult to attend school in the long-term.  Here are some strategies to deal with back to school worries:

• Keep a predictable routine and ensure your child is sleeping and eating well. Use an alarm clock to make sure your child wakes up on time.
• Be organised to reduce any rush in the morning – plan school lunches, pack school bag the night before, lay out school clothes.
• Make a regular time to talk with your child. Encourage your child to problem solve through any fears they have and develop and rehearse a plan.
• Teach and practice coping skills to use when they are nervous – deep breathing, positive self-talk (e.g. ‘You’ve got this’).
• Tell your child when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back. Sneaking out without saying goodbye can make things worse. Your child might feel confused or upset when he realises you’re not around and might be harder to settle the next time you leave him.
• Settle your child in an enjoyable activity before you leave.
• Say goodbye to your child briefly – don’t drag it out.
• Keep a relaxed and happy look on your face when you’re leaving. If you seem worried or sad, your child might think the place isn’t safe and can get upset too.
• Sometimes children can be attached predominantly to one parent, if this is the case have the other parent drop your child to school. Alternatively, have them go with a friend / Nan and Pop etc.
• If the behaviour continues, connect with your child’s teacher and request additional support to help your child settle at school.

Things to look out for that may indicate that further support is needed:

1. The anxiety interferes with your child’s life, and therefore with your life.
2. Your child has more severe anxiety than other children the same age.
3. Your child’s anxiety has gone on for at least four weeks.

For more information:

Web links:

Separation anxiety in children (Raisingchildren.net.au)

Books:

Joanne Garfi– Overcoming School Refusal: A practical guide for teachers, counsellors, caseworkers and parents

Ronald Rapee – Helping Your Anxious Child Second Edition: A Step-by-step  Guide for Parents

The Brave Program – Online Anxiety Program for Children and Teens (www.brave4you.psy.uq.edu.au)

Luke Homes

College Counsellor