Every family has its own unique routines and rituals, which support families to be organised and spend time together. From getting ready for school and work in the morning, bedtime rituals in the evening or spending time with friends and family on the weekends, routines are important to help children feel safe and have a sense of predictability within their home environment. A good example of this, for younger children is reading a story together before bed. As parents and carers, you are your child’s first and most important teacher. Every day you are helping your child to learn new information, skills and ways of behaving. Encouraging independence will help your child to develop essential life skills and feel self-confident. New skills can take time to develop, here are some tips to help support this process.

• Discuss with your child what the routine will look like and set time frames (e.g. what time is bedtime), as well as time limits (e.g. TV or technology time).
• Give clear instructions, getting your child’s attention before you start. Turn off the TV and reduce any other noise or interruptions. To increase your instructions effectiveness, try the ‘when…then’ approach e.g. When you have brushed you teach, then I will read you a book in bed. When we have finished reading, then it will be time to sleep. When you eat your vegetables, then you can have dessert. When you have put your uniform on, then you can have breakfast. This approach helps motivate, especially when the first direction isn’t overly appealing. Model how and what you want your child to do step by step. Remember it may take time to get it right, and sometimes you may need to hold their hand to accomplish it to begin with.
• For younger children you may choose to use a poster to remind about the steps to complete (e.g. for brushing their teeth).
• Give praise and encouragement for all your child’s efforts.
• Consider if your child is physically able and mature enough to complete certain tasks (e.g. getting dressed, stacking the dishwasher) and consider what will help them to grow in their independence and ability to learn new skills.

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Luke Holmes

College Counsellor